How About Love?
“In 525,600 minutes/How do you measure a year in the life?” — Jonathan Larson
Is it possible to love and also let go? I was thinking about this a while back. When I wrote about leaving a prepped table for loved ones, I meditated on the word “Godspeed.” Kinda like the Frank Ocean song, I mourned the loss of relationships I built over the years as a barista. I felt an intense heartache; I felt longing and desire for my time with my community. I wished for time to slow down so I fully appreciate the beings in front of me as I could.
So, I made each moment with my family at the cafe I worked meaningfully through sharing time with them. Whether it was about our up and down dating lives, crying together in the backroom after a rough day, or just laughing for the sake of joy, we made each moment together beautiful. And I carry with me these moments and lessons in love with my heart. My family at this cafe embraced me like the beloved and opened my soul towards a lifelong connection in love.
So, I’m reflecting because I’m moving away again in four months as my team makes their moves for their respective journeys. And I know that we are supporting and proud of each other for our perseverance this year. I also sense that we are just beginning our individual grieving processes when the time comes to say goodbye to each other, our students, and the community we individually cultivated within the year. Because of that, I shed joyful tears daily; even in my longing for the more meaningful time, I am grateful. We’ve been stepping stones for each other, launching boarding a lifetime of love for each other.
And hey, it ain’t been pretty all the time. We probably, just like any other team or group of friends, get on each other’s nerves. We’ve been through a lot together in terms of having rough and sometimes heartbreaking days at the school we serve at.
No matter, I am grateful for these imperfections. How can I not desire to embrace these lovely individuals fully? Their quirks and laughter bring me joyfully loving appreciation to witness people I am inspired by. Their love and healing presence pushes me daily to work to be a better person. Because of this, I always hope that when I’m with them or my students, I can reciprocate this love to them. I feel like I am. I know it’s a work of progress, but I keep faith in myself as I do with any person I connect with.
So, we are in the thick of the year; there’s a lot more time to make with each other and our respective classes. I sense that we all desire time to fly and be slow. And that’s simply because we feel that time is passing towards our next adventure, and it’s exciting to begin anew. However, we also know that there’s a possibility that we may or may not see each other again. Like a coin flip, it’s fifty-fifty; life is random, and we may never know precisely how or where we will end up. Because change is a constant in our lives, we may never know if a moment will be our last with each other.
And that’s why I’m thinking of the song “Seasons of Love” right now. That’s because I want to know how I’m going to measure a year in my life. How are we going to spend 525,600 minutes with each other and other people we love? How do we sum up the entirety of emotions that continually roll off each other? Can we sum up each and every minute with one word or sentence? I like to think that as we live moment to moment, each minute is like a painting; our fleeting time is worth a thousand words. So, I’ll spend each moment with everyone in my life appreciating the here and now. There is enough time to enjoy the seasonal love with one another. Thank you, friends, and I wish you all the well. Godspeed.